Okay, summer hasn't been all sunshine and lollipops this year. I don't even need goddamn light and candy. All I'm asking for are some leftovers. Really.
We're still dealing with our home situation. My anxiety level is high, like I shouldn't be around sharp objects high. I've had severe chest pains. It seriously feels like Christian Bale's Batman did a sidekick into my chest and I landed into a wall that is now crumbling into my withering body. Notice how I didn't say Ben Affleck's Batman because if it were Affleck's Batman, the battle would still be going and I'd probably be kicking his ass. I am not a fan. You guessed that?
Yesterday, I ate my weight in food. Twice. I ate everything, including things that make me terribly sick because honestly, how much worse can I feel. Apparently, a lot worse. Gluten? Get over here. Dairy? I've missed you so very, very much.
And then I spent the rest of the night curled up in bed wondering if I needed to throw up or go to the hospital and have them pump my stomach because getting your stomach pumped sounds like a jaunt through the park and hmmm, I wonder if I can do a Foursquare check-in there?
You know what's the unsung hero of the snack kingdom? Cheez Doodles and white wine. Yeah. All that cheesy stainy goodness all over your fingers and the fruity elixir cooling your throat. Holy shit. Did I hit rock bottom? This morning, that flavor combination sounds totally disgusting and my stomach paid the ultimate price for it last night.
Today is the day that I start taking a more Zen approach to our situation and bring more positive light into my life. Unfortunately, its completely overcast outside and all I really wanna do is take a pool cue and smash it against the wall a few hundred times while screaming hilarious swear word combinations. Actually, that sounds like a really good idea. However, I don't know shit about drywall and I'm assuming Carl would want the wall repaired. What a goody two-shoes.
Also, I need to start eating better because my health can't spiral down any more than it already has. But there's some leftover pizza in the fridge and it's full of gluten and calling out my name like the temptress she is. I can't say no to you, mozzarella cheese.
I will never learn.