I have a cardiology appointment tomorrow morning because apparently I'm at that age where my body is trying to kill me and my brain is too stupid to know what the fuck to do with this mess so it give up and plays dead like a possum.
Trying to remain calm about said appointment is much easier said than done. All I really want to do is scream and maybe do a little cry and don't even play any of those goddamn New Adele songs because those will just ruin me and there's not enough tears in this body to do those songs justice.
Carl keeps assuring me everything will be fine, but my brain keeps replaying every fucked up hospital scene where the doctor is telling the patient I'm sorry - you only have a few weeks to live. And then he leans in and kisses the patient passionately and. . . Oh wait, wasn't that like every episode of every soap opera ever made?
The only thing that has distracted me from tomorrow's impending doom is the news that guys are decorating their beards with glitter. No joke. Who do I crotch punch for this fail of an idea? There is no getting rid of this images from my mind - kinda like the time I walked in on my college roommate and she tossed out an uneaten order of large McDonald's french fries because she was full.
Please make all that sparkle go away. Isn't there some unicorn that needs it more then your beard?